For part three of our six-part series on the supes who help keep our campus safe, I had a chance to sit down and get up close and personal with Softstone.
The rumors are true, ladies and gentlemen! He is a dreamboat! Of course I’m only guessing, since he was too straight-laced to take off his headgear (or his shirt), but he did promise me that the top half of his face matches the bottom half, and the bottom half (not to mention the bottom half of the backside, which I got a chance to check out when he walked away at the end of the interview) is gorgeous.
Softstone, like Baseline and Deep Indigo, wouldn’t budge an inch on the identity protection stuff. As you my dear readers know, the only thing the supes have been willing to say about their six members is that two are alumni, one is on faculty and the other three are enrolled students, in some mix of grad and undergrad.
I pegged Softstone for a grad student. It made him blush adorably and thank me for the “compliment,” but he didn’t deny it. I’ll bet he’s in law school or business. I wish we grew them like that here in journalism!
“Listen,” Softstone said after I had given him the third degree for a while, “All this speculation is fun, I get that, but I’d really like to talk about campus security. I’ve been hearing about people taking extra risks lately because they figure that everything’s safe with us supes guarding them—but we can only do so much and it’s so important that everyone use their best judgment all the time.”
I promised him I would put that in the article in return for finding out if he’s seeing anyone. Guess what ladies and interested gentlemen? He’s single!
“I haven’t found the right person to settle down with. But I don’t really have time to look right now, either. Maybe when the semester starts settling down….”
The takeaway message is clear. Do your part to keep campus safe, or else you won’t even have a shot at this hunky hero.
Softstone answers your questions!
Q: How old are you, Softstone?
A: Sorry, that’s classified. I’m older than 18 and younger than 30. I hope that’s good enough.
Q: I heard that you’re not actually from Minnesota. Is that true? Where are you from?
A: It is true. I’m a transplant from another part of the Midwest—but I love it here.
Q: What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re not keeping the streets safe for the rest of us?
A: Nothing too exciting! I like to hang out with friends, barbeque, watch baseball—normal stuff.
Q: What teams do you route for?
A: I like the Twins okay, but I’m really a—um, I’ll just say that I like my home team the best.
Q: Do you play any sports?
A: I like to play basketball on Sunday afternoons. I’ve never been a part of a team though. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone else if we supers played competitive sports.
(Read a message sent from the ReginaPro office.)
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